What Bored Catholic Kids Do at Mass
Make faces at the babies in the pews in front of them.
Stare at the statues in the hope that Mary or Jesus will wink at them.
Pinch their fingers in the doohinkies that hold the Mass books
Peel sweaty knees off kneelers in summer.
Watch their fathers to see if they fall asleep during the sermon.
Listen to the grumbling of their empty stomachs.
Worry that the communion host will adhere to the roofs of their mouths.
Smell bacon and wonder who ate breakfast before Mass.
Hope the shattered colors of stained glass windows will fall on them this time.