This is a raw memory, but I share it because I believe others may have experienced some similar doubt about themselves because of another’s judgment. It’s still painful, but I need to be more honest and kick this ugly moment out of my new life. My only lesson to others is to listen to your gut feelings. You’ll feel something is not right long before you’ll see the evidence.
One day in the middle of my life, I went to an office building where a friendly woman tested me for attention deficit syndrome.
Because my significant other said I was wanting. I was broken. I forgot too many things.
I was a teacher. A mother. A wife. A volunteer. A supporter. A helper. A giver. A worrier.
And he judged me as less than whole.
When I told this kind professional why I was there, she looked at me.
“Are you serious?”
“No, he thinks I’m losing my mind.”
And so, hours of testing began. She gave me a battery of tests to determine the strength, the worth, the ability of my mind.
And, honestly, I enjoyed those hours with her. I liked the challenge. I was excited to see where it could go. To find out what knowledge would be dredged up.
Several weeks later, a binder of results showed up in the mail.
I passed with flying colors. I was whole. My mind was strong. Dare I gloat, superior.
I showed it to the person who once said he loved me.
He shook his head.
I still was not whole in his estimation.
Judged not enough.
I should have known
I would not pass